Transformation Tools

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Some psychologists think that powerful self-insights and transformations of the psyche require psychotherapy and a psychotherapist. Of course, this isn't true. As a matter fact, the business of knowing and healing thyself has been around several thousand years before anyone joined together the words "psyche" and "therapy" - long before there was even the science of psychology or western science itself.

Carl Jung is perhaps too easily overlooked. Because scientific psychology, as well as traditional psychoanalysis, tends to devalue anything vaguely mystical, spiritual, or "transpersonal," Jung's work becomes a prime candidate for scapegoating and neglect. Precisely because Jung focusses on dimensions of human experience that are not readily explained by or amenable to more conservative perspectives, I feel his work needs to be explained more fairly and accurately. Concepts such as synchronity, archetypes, the collective unconscious, and anima/animus are not just fascinating, but powerful in their ability to capture aspects of the psyche not fully explored in other theories.

The Symbolic Life

Almost anything can be a symbol, a bird, a tree, a word, a visual image, a sound, a smell, a hat stand or even some-one else's body. The word symbol derives from the Greek, meaning `to throw together'. Jung's use of the term symbol was very different from it's common usage meaning, and far closer to its Greek origins. Jung used the term symbol to mean that which at a given time is the best possible representation of something which remains essentially unknowable. This is a numinous experience which takes one beyond the obvious and establishes a paradoxical state of unity of the material and immaterial, when the apparently mutually exclusive realities of the physical and psychic worlds are `thrown together'. Such experiencestend to imbue the whole life with a sense of meaning.

"....one learns only by experience. No understanding is gained by memorising words, for symbols are the living facts of life."
CW vol 18 p 249 para 572

Using Symbols as Tools of Transformation

Transformation occurs when we use psychotechnologies for change. Humans have always created technologies for transformation. In our ancient histories (to some extent in our current one) sacred ritual and ceremony, initiation rites, storytelling and the passing on of knowledge and skills by oral tradition were technologies of transformation. These experiences awakened us, guided our exploration, supported us through the emptying and the birthing of our new selves.

Our current psychotechnologies include a whole array of arts and sciences for the body, mind/emotions and spirit. There are countless body disciplines and therapies such as yoga, Tai Chi, karate, dance and movement therapies, various types of body work, to name just a few that shift the energies in the body, support the release of old patterns, and help us to be able to live more comfortably in physical form. Approaches like biofeedback and autogenic training, help the body to be in a relaxed and alert state of consciousness.

Meditation techniques of many descriptions: Zen, Tibetan Buddhist, Transcendental, Kabbalist, Christian, etc., help put our minds and energies into a calm and heightened state of awareness.

And so too there are many different “objects” that are used to focus the transformation process. The Ennegram, Tarot, the Cross, Star of David, a Rosary or prayer beads, the I Ching, Runes, and others, are all used to help the individual along his (her) path to a more connected and fuller existence. The object itself does not contain the power of transformation, but rather the symbols help the individual to access those parts of Self that may be forgotten or unknown. They are used to awaken and make one aware. They are all useful. It does not matter so much which one you use (if you choose to use any), only that the one you use should have a deep resonance within you that you can feel. You may have to try several before finding one that “speaks” to you in a meaningful way. Direction from an experienced practioner in the proper use of any of these “tools” is advisable.

I experimented with several and settled upon the Tarot. It fits my way of learning (visual) and taps into my writing (story making) skills. There is enough variety to keep my interest piqued, enough history, cultural diversity, and philosophical intrigue to keep my mind active (as it likes to be), and it has the capacity to grow with me as I grow. The Light & Shadow Tarot is my deck of choice. However, I recommend the novice to start with the Aleister Crowley THOTH deck in order to gain a fundamental understanding.

Using a tranformational tool such as the Tarot can be a motivator, especially if you are lethargic, uninspired, and/or having difficulty staying on track. If anything, it provides an activity in which to engage other than those actions and behaviors that are not moving you forward, not helping you make the positive changes you say you want to make. Even if only for the short time you use the tool – that is time spent not stagnating or harming yoruself. With continued use and increased familiarity and knowledge, use of the tool will become a empowering, enlightening, if not enjoyable, rewarding process – even when the outcomes or revealations are unpleasant and difficult.

There are identifiable stages of transformation:
Awakening
Exploration
Emptying/Loss
Disintegration/Dark Night of the Soul
Birthing of a New Self/Life
Movement toward Integration
Coming into Fullness
and, the tranformational tool you choose can help move you to and process through each stage.

In the transformation process, we become artists and scientists of our own lives. In the transformed life, our perceptions are changed, we become whole-seeing and creative. We become playful and recapture the childlike qualities of being human. We let go of our denial and rigidity and open to flow.

The Transformed self has access to new tools, gifts, and sensibilities. Like the artist, it sees patterns, it finds meaning, and its own originality. Like a good scientist, the transformed self experiments, speculates, invents and relishes unexpected discoveries.

Awake to the impact of culture, the transformed self attempts to understand diversity with great curiosity and interest. It understands that diversity is the reality of endless human possibilities. The transformed self is a student of the bonds of community, yet it knows about realms beyond linear time and limitations. The transformed self is a visionary, imaging alternative futures and designing its own realities.

The transformed self is successful in the "stuff of life", and is co-creator of all that is transforming our world.


Developing Passion


A Man without passion is a fire without light.

A person without passion has no more value than a candle without a flame or fire without light. By passion I mean zeal, enthusiasm, or fervor. It is the force that relentlessly drives one forward. Passion is a burning desire that creates commitment to a person, project, or life. A world without passion is a world without Mother Teresa, Mozart, or Michelangelo. Every great endeavor has been fueled by passion.

The opposite of passion is indifference. A society in which no one cares about their job or country is on the verge of collapse. Passion is the motor that propels us to our destination and the glue that binds our society together. However, not all passion is good. That's why Henri Frederic Amiel wrote, "The fire which enlightens is the same fire which consumes." Adolf Hitler, Pol Pot, Jim Jones, and Charles Manson were passionate. Passionate, but grossly misguided. Instead of reaching for the stars, they dove into the depths of hell.

To be of value, passion must be illuminated by knowledge. Before giving our heart, we must make sure the object of our passion is ennobling, not destructive. Those on a spiritual quest should exercise great caution before joining any new group. Examine the claims and research the background of the group before getting excited. Otherwise, you could wind up becoming a cult member.

Also, passion is not to be confused with obsession. When we are obsessed, we are controlled by cravings. We become slaves to addictions and compulsions. The only progress we make is downward. Once we are in a tailspin, it's hard to recover by ourselves. So, if we find ourselves in such a predicament, we need to find outside help. Passion, on the other hand, is a conscious decision. We choose to devote ourselves to a worthwhile cause, such as our family, career, or charity.

Passion has magical power. It can bring the nonexistent into existence. For example, Walt Disney's passion helped him overcome severe setbacks, a nervous breakdown, and the discouragement of staff, peers, and friends. Acting against the advice of all, he transformed his dream of Disneyland into reality. Another magical quality of passion is its ability to lighten our load. With the wave of a wand, work becomes fun! Tedious effort becomes exciting! Passion is also power, for as Margaret Mead wrote, "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."

You will also find that doors that are locked for ordinary folks suddenly open for those with passion. How can one resist their enthusiasm? Even if the doors remained shut, the fire of their passion would burn them down! The passionate have big dreams and big dreams come with big problems. But who cares? Those with passion are focused on their goals, not themselves. They are wrapped up in their dreams, not their worries. They don't have the time or inclination for self-pity. When things go wrong, they learn from their mistakes and quickly continue on their way.

Consider for a moment, what are the alternatives to a life of passion? Would you rather go to work with a frown, instead of a smile? Would you rather lead an empty life or one filled with purpose? Would you rather delight in or dread the beginning of a new day? Would you rather be a survivor or a success? Whenever it is a matter of ability or passion, passion is always the victor in the battle for success.

Spike Lee offers this advice, "It is really important that young people find something that they want to do and pursue it with passion. I'm very passionate about filmmaking. It's what I love to do." The American Industrialist, Charles M. Schwab, had this to add, "The person who does not work for the love of work but only for money is not likely to make money nor to find much fun in life."

What if we recognize the importance of passion but somehow lack it? What can we do to nurture it? Well, recognizing its importance is the first step. Other steps you can take follow.

1. Take responsibility. The only bad hand you have been dealt in life was dealt by you. From today, "Don't do things half-assed," says Hugh Young, "If a thing is worth doing at all, it's worth doing as well as you can possibly do it. Pick out something you think is worthwhile and do it or work at it with passion. Do it with all your might."

2. You find what you look for. Instead of looking for the bad in your job or situation, look for the good. Look for the opportunities. Search for the solutions. Look for the way.

3. Make a plan. Once you've found some opportunities and solutions, make a plan of action. What should you avoid doing and what should you start doing now?

4. Make a decision. Now that you have a plan, decide to act on it. Set deadlines and start following your new road map to success. Enjoy the ride.

5. Stoke the fire of passion. To keep passion's fire burning brightly, review the day's events in the evening. Monitor your progress. Relish your achievements and learn from your mistakes.

6. Don't douse the flames. You want to ignite your life with passion, but be careful of burnout. Work hard, but schedule breaks, leisure, entertainment, and family time. Don't forget to reward yourself occasionally.

7. Recharge your batteries. Make time for the gym, sports, long walks, or meditation to relieve stress, refresh you spirit, and renew your energy.

8. "Develop interest in life as you see it; in people, things, literature, music - the world is so rich, simply throbbing with rich treasures, beautiful souls and interesting people. Forget yourself." (Henry Miller)

9. Take brief "awareness breaks" throughout the day to remind yourself of the joy of being alive.

10. Avoid negative people and associate with enthusiastic people.

11. Share your zest for life with others. Brighten up their day. Their warm response will reinforce your passion.

12. Take "vitamins for the mind." That is read or listen to motivational material to keep the flames burning.


© Chuck Gallozzi

Gratitude Makes You Smile


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It is virtually impossible to have negative thoughts when you have a smile on your face! It lightens your heart and simply feels good.

The practice of gratitude is life empowering. It can change the way you feel about yourself and life’s events. With the attitude of gratitude you can change the state of your consciousness. You move out of reactionary emotions and take charge of your personal energy. It is much like this: Picture yourself in the center of a big balloon. When you are experiencing gratitude your balloon is full and expanded¾ you feel alive, healthy and¾ you are a healing presence. When you are having negative thoughts and feelings your balloon deflates and you feel drained, out of sorts, heavy and without vitality. Your energy has leaked away and you have given your personal power to someone or something.

The quality of your life is a result of what you focus on. The practice of focusing on all that you "have" amplifies and enriches the experience of everyday living. The word "practice" as defined by Webster's dictionary means, "systematic exercise for the purpose of acquiring skill or proficiency". Like anything else, gratitude requires practice and discipline. There are many ways you can incorporate the practice of gratitude into our life. You can begin with simple practices that develop gratitude.

Gratitude is a choice. It is a choice to see things differently. When choosing to be grateful you are focusing on all the things that are good or right in your life as opposed to the things that are not.

Focus acts like a magnet; you attract those things on which you focus. By focusing on the things you are grateful for, you give those aspects of your life more power. Your world begins to feel more full and alive.

How do you get to a place of gratitude? Gratitude requires that you open your heart. Try this exercise: Close your eyes and gently bring your attention to the center of your chest. This is called the heart center. Focus on the rising and falling of your chest as you breathe in and out. Think about the things in your life that bring you happiness and joy such as special people, your home, your garden, the birdsong, whatever it is that warms your heart. If you cannot think of anything specific then visualize a beautiful field of flowers or a smiling child. As you focus on these things you may begin to feel warm and calm. You are now in a state of gratitude.

In learning the practice of gratitude, you do not need something to be grateful for, only the desire to feel grateful. You can learn gratitude by thinking of things for which you are thankful and eventually we move into awareness that just being and experiencing life is enough. Then you are projecting gratitude and love from an open heart each moment.
Gratitude brings us to the place of giving and receiving. Gratitude acknowledges our receiving of abundance, and, in and of itself becomes an act of giving back to the Universe. Abundance then becomes a natural byproduct of gratitude. How is that possible? How does it suddenly appear? Quite simply ... it was always there! We just had not been able to see it.

Gratitude is becoming consciously aware of all that is there for us in life, and then acknowledging the gift. This aligns us with the Universal principle that giving is the same as receiving. In graciously receiving the gifts that life provides us, we give back the gift of gratitude. Show and express your gratitude and you will see that your life is a beautiful string of miracles!!
NAMASTE


from: http://www.ahealingplace.org/spiritualpsych/awakening_self/gratitude.htm

Thanks you, Arasini.

Alethea

(a grounding poem)


The need
to go
on the N Judah train
to Ocean Beach
to stand alone
facing out
& to dig long toes in
sand and water

Take hold, feet
root here
and roll angles round
Flex
dig in
With each toe
touch past salt chill
ocean
beyond down

through layers
of body
into belly
deep attention –

Now enter
enter the darkest point
with longing
faith will bring light

Take root
reach past
crabs burrowed there
bones
of cormorants, sea otters & whales
push through
crusty skeletons
lost ships
& sallow dead men clutching
their loot push down
through lead tin copper
& iron step
into that ore laden vein rush of it
blood saturate each bone
muscle
with heat
churning gut reach
crawl
your body in
hot coals
that do not burn
& rest there
at the center of the earth

let go
and rise –
bring back that fire
through layers of rock wet memories
despair
loss & chagrin

Bring up
strength
through rich soil alive
breathing
tendrils winding up
ankle shin calf knee & thigh
to the fleshy thick
of your furry sex
sphincter anus
into belly
liver kidney & spleen
ribbons
expanding
further your luminous heart
out all along your arms
from gracefully held shoulders
to elbow sinewy arm wrist fingertip
& back
to touch
supple neck
& throat open song
winging
further fire light up
into jaw ah smile bright brow
blazing broadly
crowned with joy
in release

After Many Years Absent & Other Poems - M. Hannan © 1993

Losing Yourself in the Divine: Creativity as a Spiritual Practice


When you create you lose yourself in your creation. Time seems to stand still and all else is forgotten. You participate in the divine play that is creativity. These moments offer a glimpse of who you really are: a being fashioned in the image and likeness of God. Like the source of all creation, you are a creator, too. It is your divine birthright. The person who says "I'm not creative" is uttering blasphemy. The truth is that you are the Creative Self expressing through the human vessel of your body, emotions, mind, and soul. Creativity flows through you as a universal life force, called by many names throughout the ages: chi, prana, shakti, the Holy Spirit. It is this energy of love flowing through you that also gives life to your creations.

The medium in which you create is irrelevant. It doesn't matter whether you write a business proposal, play a piano sonata, or prepare a delicious meal. You may be seeking to resolve one of life's mundane problems or express deep feelings and insights through poetry. Embrace your creation as a lover and you can break through to another realm. When you stick with it for better or for worse, your creation becomes your guru (Sanskrit meaning "from darkness to light").

Losing yourself in the divine embrace of the creative process, you disappear. Your ego or limited sense of separateness vanishes, and you emerge into the vast ocean that is creativity. This is an altered state of intuitive awareness in which you renounce control from your head alone. Instead, you allow the Creative Self to flow through your heart, your body, and your intuition. Then you are taken to places you can never go in your ordinary waking state. This road leads eventually to moments of divine bliss described by ecstatic poets like Rumi, Kabir, and Lalli.

The desire to realize the natural high found in peak moments of creativity is so basic that, if given no healthy outlet for this urge, people turn to alcohol or drugs for a simulated version. These counterfeit forms inevitably backfire, for they violate an essential ingredient: the human vessel for containing the Creative Self. And that vessel - physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual - can be shaped only through hard work and awareness. We must harmonize these four aspects of our being. For instance, the body and emotions need time to digest flashes of inspiration the soul and mind receive. After participating in laboratory controlled experiments with LSD many years ago, author AnaƮs Nin concluded that she didn't need drugs to get high. Her writing had always taken her to a state of heightened awareness. Nin had kept a journal since childhood, developing her craft every day of her life. Regular writing practice was the cauldron in which Nin, the novelist and essayist, was formed. Interestingly, it is her diaries (published in several volumes) that are best known, even though she hadn't originally intended them for publication.

To flourish, creativity needs our full attention and disciplined focus on details. It is a way of life, a way of being and perceiving. It is a form of meditation that leads out from the Creative Self and back to it. The creative process rests on a foundation of attentiveness, skill, and hard work. At her most inspired, the master pianist loses herself in performance, transcending technique and dissolving into the Creative Self. Her ego steps aside and the music plays her. This is possible only because she has spent years rigorously developing her God-given talent through loving practice. The enthusiastic entrepreneur writes an inspired business plan because by acquiring skill, experience, and knowledge he has also cultivated intuition, vision, and love of his work. He's done his homework.

Any practice, spiritual or otherwise, involves making mistakes. Millions of errors are made before the human vehicle is ready for the Creative Self to freely flow through it. A good metaphor is in the art-making process. For instance, in ceramics the clay must be wedged (pounded vigorously to remove air bubbles) before the pot is formed. If not, when the pot is baked in the kiln fire (which is where the transformation occurs), the air pockets will cause the pot to explode. In the creative process we are "wedged" by life, pounded vigorously to remove the air bubbles of an inflated ego.

The yogis call this tapasya, the purification in which inner heat is generated by friction between the mind and the heart. The ego dies hard. When the ego is embarrassed by the revelations of our human foibles, omissions, or transgressions, it experiences frustration, angry explosions, or the slow inward boil of resentment. In the same way, the creative process is humbling. It opens us to rejection and feelings of failure, self-doubt, and unworthiness. That's why so many people avoid it. Creativity's invisible fire burns up all that stands between us and the integrity of our creation. When we serve the work, however, it becomes our teacher. We shape the work, but at the same time the work shapes us. The alchemists described this purification process as turning base matter into gold, tests into mastery, crisis into wisdom.

In serving the work, truth is everything. For example, what we ignore comes back to haunt us. Weak spots a writer glosses over in a manuscript, baking soda the chef forgets to add to the cake mixture, specifications the designer leaves out of an architectural blueprint become teachers. The pot that cracks apart in the kiln was not wedged properly in the first place. The results never lie.

There's nothing wrong with making mistakes. In fact, mistakes are honorable. They are how we learn. But if we think we're above it all, our egos will be burned in the fire of truth. Through embarrassment we find we didn't know it all. We couldn't slide past the truth. What we missed or chose to ignore inevitably trips us and grounds us again in earthbound reality. Brought back to our senses and to the matter at hand, we are reminded of our human being-ness. That is the vessel for our divinity. Try to escape that fact and God or the Goddess has no place to reside in us.

If you are devoted to the Creative Self, you will encounter the same tests described in the writings of saints and mystics throughout the ages. These include highs and lows, agonies and ecstasies, inspired moments, and dark nights of the soul. Some periods feel charged with "greening" (to use Hildegard of Bingen's term). Juicy and fertile, you are full of aha" moments - breakthroughs and discoveries. Inspiration gushes like a geyser.

At other times you feel dry, lost in an arid desert of disinterest, depression, and barrenness. Emptiness prevails and you wonder if maybe you haven't lost your talent and skill along with your connectedness to the source of creation. You are haunted with questions like Will I ever have another creative idea? Am I all dried up? Have I used all the creativity rationed to me in this lifetime? A battle with the demons of self-judgment rages within.

The literature of both art and mysticism abounds with descriptions of this phenomenon, a black void that seems totally enveloping and all-pervasive. Read the words of biblical figures like Job, poets like Saint John of the Cross and Rainer Maria Rilke, spiritual leaders like Saint Teresa of Avila, artists like Vincent Van Gogh. They all gave voice to the darkness within where, paradoxically, the Creative Self is to be found. Artist and recovered mental patient Mary Barnes once wrote, "In order to come to the light, I have to germinate in the dark."

You don't have to go out of your way to find these experiences. We all face our terrors at one time or another. It's part of the human condition - losing a job, filing for divorce, going into bankruptcy, having a serious accident, dealing with a life-threatening illness or the aftermath of a natural disaster, surviving the death of a loved one or the loss of a love. But if you see crisis as an opportunity, an invitation to personal renewal, then life itself becomes a creative process.

Those on the creative path who have journeyed fully into inner darkness and have come back to tell the tale seem to be saying, "These are the dues you have to pay. Life will pound you vigorously. Can you stand up to it? Do you have the strength and tenacity? Do you trust the creative process? Have faith in the source of creation."

Life's tests are the kiln fire that transforms us into conscious vessels of the Creative Self. However, if we cannot embrace challenges as teachers, our human clay can explode. Unable to handle the heat, some cast themselves as victims and become bitter. They may become violent, depressed, take refuge in addictions, resort to criminal behavior, become irretrievably insane, or even commit suicide.

How can the human vessel contain the limitless divine Creative Spirit? Like the birth of a baby, it's a mystery yet it happens every minute. Here the discipline side of the creative process is essential. It has been said that art is 5 percent inspiration and 95 percent perspiration. The same can be said for the creative process of living. You show up each day, do the work (whatever form it takes), follow where your next inspiration leads, and pay attention as the challenges unfold. This is as true in your occupation as it is in your personal life. When you are committed to seeing your life as a work in progress - as the creative process beckoning to you – then creativity becomes your spiritual practice.

Day after day your devotion to creativity will enable you to merge with your Creative Self. Your destiny will unfold from within. Your life will become the unique work of art it was meant to be. An ancient Chinese story tells of an old master ceramist developing a new glaze for his vases. Each day he carefully regulated the heat in his kiln, worked painstakingly with the chemistry of the glazes, and experimented with them over and over. He labored devotedly day after day, yet the effect he had envisioned continued to elude him. Having applied his vast store of knowledge and skill and having exhausted his human power, the master concluded that his life was over. He climbed into the kiln to be fired along with his vases. When his apprentices opened the kiln, they beheld a magnificent sight. All the glazes were sheer perfection, like nothing their master had ever achieved. He had become one with his creation.

In embracing creativity as our spiritual practice, we commend ourselves into the Creator's hands, knowing that our goal is to disappear. And when we do, we become one with all creation. The divine spirit dances us, it plays its music through us. We become the instrument through which the divine flows like a river to the sea. All the pilgrimages, all the prayers and chants in all the temples and churches of the world are meaningless unless we are devoted to living in and through the Creative Self, to live as the image and likeness of God.

If life force energies are not moving creatively, they will become destructive (as so-called holy wars have taught us). Destructiveness is the Creative Self turned upside down. Something has taken a wrong turn, and, like cancer, it devours the source of its life. The cure is found in creativity.

When your Creative Self calls, go with it. It is God speaking. Listen to your Creative Conscience, the voice of the divine guiding you each day. It resides in your heart. Go there and roam. That is your true temple.

©Lucia Capacchione. All Rights Reserved. Excerpted from "The Soul of Creativity" published by New World Library.

Lucia Capacchione, Ph.D, A.T.R, is an internationally known art therapist, corporate consultant, trainer and best-selling author of 12 books including, Recovery of Your Inner Child, The Creative Journal, and The Power of Your Other Hand and her new title, Visioning: Ten Steps to Designing the Life of Your Dreams (Tarcher/Putnam).

Silence liberates!


Sri Chinmoy tells a story about a pious man who studies the scriptures devotedly, and likes to discuss philosophy with a scholar who comes to visit him. They earnestly discuss the path to spiritual liberation, but deep in his heart, the man knows this endless talk is not bringing him any closer to attaining his goal. Now, it happens that the man has a little caged bird in his room, and he likes to hear it sing. But one morning he notices the bird is not singing at all, it has fallen completely silent. He speaks to the bird, tries to coax it, but it makes not a sound. Eventually the man opens the cage door and the bird, in an instant, escapes, flies out of the cage, through the open window of the room, and soars into the infinite freedom of the sky.

The bird taught his master an important spiritual lesson. Silence liberates!

We can talk endlessly, argue, discuss, debate. But the real truth of things, we discover in silence. Eventually we have to hush the mind and its chatter, discover that vastness in our hearts and soar into it.

That image of the bird in flight, going beyond the mundane, is at the heart of one of Sri Chinmoy's devotional songs:

Bird of my heart,
Fly on, fly on.
Look not behind.
What the world offers
Is meaningless, useless
And utterly false.
Bird of my heart,
Fly on.


And it recurs in one of his simple, beautiful, mantric poems:

My Lord, a tiny bird
Claims the vast sky.
Similarly the finite in me
Longs to claim
Your Infinite Absolute.

Silence liberates.


In Buddha's Flower Sermon, he came to address a large gathering and his lecture consisted of holding up a flower! One of his followers, Maha Kashapa, responded by smiling, and Buddha said in that moment the disciple had received everything. The teaching is not conveyed in words, he said, but in silence.

Your mind has a flood of questions. There is but one teacher who can answer them. Who is the teacher? Your silence-loving heart.

This 'silence-loving heart' is receptivity itself. It is our capacity to be still, be open, and simply listen. The mind has all the questions. The heart has, and is, the answer.

by Alan Spence. Alan Spence is a writer and poet, born in Glasgow and currently writer-in-residence at Aberdeen University. He writes novels, short stories, plays and poetry. His first collection of short stories It's Colours They are Fine was published in 1977 and his most recent novel is Seasons of the Heart. He runs the Hindu-inspired Chinmoy Meditation Centre in Edinburgh

Question & Answer



Question: How to release deep-seated patterns of thought and behavior?

My question has to do with a particular aspect of emotional release. I understand the need to become aware of the underlying belief that has created a particular negative emotion but how does a person actually release it? Once I have became aware of the false concept that has been operating in my life and the circumstances that it has created, what specific strategy could I employ to feel and release all of the negative emotions tied up with it?

I have done a lot of introspection over the last few years in an attempt to understand myself and I believe that I have been successful in making conscious most if not all of my false beliefs, negative traits, destructive patterns, and fears. But the frustrating thing is that I still have not been able to break free of them. I have come to realize that mere intellectual recognition of negative patterns is not enough to release them. I feel stuck. I have worked with several practitioners of several different healing modalities and still I have not experienced a significant shift in my consciousness, which is something that I desire ardently. I am tired of trying to change my patterns and life circumstances by attempting to disempower my negative concepts with my resolve to change my attitudes. Resolve and positive self talk are no match for deep seated fears and engraved patterns of thought and behavior. I am ready for a profound experiential change in myself but I don't know how to make it happen.

Another issue I wish to ask about involves choosing how to approach dealing with and healing my physical imbalances. For several years I have been living in constant state of anxiety. My body is always tense, although the degree of my tension varies. It's as though tension and anxiety have replaced calmness as my natural state.

This is not an exaggeration. I also have pain and soreness in my lower back, hips, thighs, legs, and feet. Another problem is that my physical sexual ability has waned and decreased, although my desire is still strong. I have tried chiropractic treatments, acupuncture, homeopathy, and supplements, but nothing has worked.

I realize that these conditions have emotional and mental causes so I wonder if should approach them by dealing with my emotional issues, or whether I should take a physical approach.

-Lou

Answer: Both of your questions about emotional release and physical healing are the same and have the same answer.

First of all, we often think that we have seen most of our negative perceptions, and we want to believe we're done with it, to think that now we are "good and clear and ok," but in truth there are many more things to understand. I thought years ago that I had done most of my work in that area - and I had done a huge amount of work - only to come down with a very serious illness which showed me that although I had done some of my work, I had really not gotten down to the core issues. I was stunned!

Think of it this way: It's kind of like being at the beach... if you stand by the ocean, you can see only so far out to sea. If you climb up the ladder and sit atop a life guard station, you will see things that you had not been able to see from standing on the shore, maybe a boat way out there. If you go higher still (with your awareness) and have a bird's eye view, you will see things that you had not seen still - past the boat, maybe you will see land, etc. Because you have not been able to release these negative programs yet, and because you are experiencing it as physical pain, you have still not gotten to the core issues. You may still be standing on the shore. There is no right or wrong in a person's timing. It is all perfect.

It is a process of gathering enough power in your system to handle releasing the negative energy and changing the old perceptions. Until you have gathered enough power, in the form of wisdom and clear insight, and built this power up in yourself through some form of spiritual work, such as meditation, you will not have enough power in your system to clear it yet. Think of it this way: say you go to the gym, and the trainer sets you down by the weights and says, lift this 200 pound weight. There's no way that you can do it unless you have spent a lot of time building up to it gradually. It's like a light dimmer switch, or rheostat. As you push the switch up (allowing more truth and understanding into your being), you get brighter and can hold more light and see more clearly what is actually going on. Until you get less dense in your body, mind and soul (density is caused by false beliefs that carry a lower vibration of energy - including habits such as eating patterns, etc), you will be too dense to hold the higher vibration of light/truth etc. The higher vibrations would blow you out if you had not gradually raised the rheostat level bit by bit, getting lighter and lighter to carry the higher voltage of energy, which = truth. Bird's eye view, in other words.

What you shared about your physical ailments tells me a lot. The back, generically, archetypally, has to do with feelings of being supported. Hips and legs have to do with feeling that you are grounded and safe, and that you can move forward. Anxiety means you do not trust that you are safe. That all is well. All is not ok, you believe. And so you are not well, or ok, as you mirror this belief.

At the core of all of any of our issues is the belief that we are inherently evil. As long as you carry a belief in evil, you will not heal. If you see anything in the world that you label evil, anything at all that you judge in any way, you are caught in a basic, core and false perception of the very essence of what life is all about. This life is simply god's play. Everything is god, and no one really dies. God is just playing and learning through all of the experiences and situations, through ALL that is created. Even a murderer or rapist is god. This can be terrifying at first to understand. But, if god is everything - and you label anything evil, then god, and you, also, since you are god, must be evil as well. That's the logical conclusion our minds must make if we believe this.

Think of it this way. We dream, correct? When we wake up, we know that although we experienced things in our dreams, and learned things, and came to new understandings, no harm was done. We just wake up. It’s the same for god. It’s god’s dream. As above, so below. No harm is ever done. But we do learn to grow in love through what we experience and play with. It all comes from Love - even what we could label as something awful - it's just an experience to learn about Love . God loves itself so much that it wants to grow and learn - and that means god loves us that much, as we are god. In order for there to be this world, there has to be polarity - and what we want to call evil is just one end of the spectrum of polarity - it's an important part of the whole deal - we couldn't be here without it - and so it is also Love, and also god. It allows these experiences to be. Like a see-saw. One end of the see saw isn't evil. Both are needed for the movement to happen. If this blows your mind, then you are still in the process of building up the power to have this level of understanding. And you have other layers to go through to arrive there. And that's perfect too.

When you really get that, and you undo the core core belief in "the devil", or "Lucifer", or evil, you are freed to heal. In the meantime, it is a process of, layer by layer, undoing false perceptions and building up the power to lift stuff off of you.

You asked how to do this: I do this by allowing myself to completely feel the emotion behind the belief. If, for instance, I track a belief that says "there's no one here for me", and I tune into what the emotion(s) is behind that belief, which probably could be deep grief and/or terror, I allow those feelings to come up, rise up out of me, (knowing that this is how the game is played - it's ok to do this - to have the feelings) and I sit through it like it's a big storm blowing. I keep, to the best of my ability, some part of myself aware that I am safe - that I am simply taking (excuse my French) an emotional shit. That's all it is. Those are the rules of the game - you take something in - you release it when the time is right. So, feeling it has to be safe. That's how we are made. That's how it works. I don't buy into the emotion as Truth - ( in other words I don't say to myself,"See, I am all alone"! It's true!" Which actually, if we take it all the way back to the core is still that belief that I am evil or I would be loved, isn't it?) But I may use those thoughts of feeling unloved to allow the feelings to get pumped out of me.

Do you understand the difference? It's the difference between being conscious or unconscious with what is going on. Instead of feelings or issues "running" me, and controlling my life, I run them! In other words, I may think to myself, "Oh, I'm all alone! OH! Oh! Oh! It hurts!! Oh!! I'm dying!! I can't do it alone! I'LL die if no one loves me!! My mother was never there for me! She left me!! I'm scared!! etc." - and as I think these thoughts, I really feel all the pain I ever felt from feeling and believing I was alone. I feel what that feels like - but I use that thought to consciously pump out the emotions.

You have to get to the emotional level - feeling the energy, to release it. It can't just be, as you said, just an intellectual pursuit. You have to allow yourself to feel it. And as you feel it, as you let the storm blow through you, some part of you is winking, aware and knowing what you are doing. On some inner level,while still being in this storm, I am accepting that it's unneeded energy releasing, as we release after we eat a meal. That keeps you safe, if even a tiny part of you can remember that. What we no longer need, we release. That's all. And we no longer need it if we have created a new perception that makes the old beliefs, and the emotional energy that comes with them, obsolete. My new perception, (climbing up the life guard station ladder) that allowed the release of the old , might be something like: "I am never alone. That was only a belief I created out of victim consciousness. I see that my mother loved me, and I accept she was where she was in her process - and it taught me this..." And you continue to do this, peeling away layer by layer of false perceptions and the emotions that come with them until you build up enough power to sit through an emotional hurricane easily - but feeling it completely.

-Ayal